"The Onion" Renee-style

Ok, this doesn't take rocket science, people... I nearly spit up my drink through my nose when I read this...

Headline in the Washington Times, "Iraqi officers go missing in U.S."
...Iraqi military and enforcement officials had been brought over to the U.S. for training. Almost 12 have gone missing...

Harvey Perritt, civilian spokesman for U.S. Army Training and Doctrine Command (TRADOC), said,

"We don't know the reasons why they elected not to return to Iraq."

::cough, cough, spurt, spurt::

Let's see... top million reasons for an Iraqi not to return to Iraq...

1. freedom
2. peace
3. freedom
4. peace
...
skip a few
...
1,000,000. freedom

The whole article comes across as somewhat absurd, as they don't have any really solid information except that some Iraqi officers with sensitive, confidential U.S. intelligence information have "gone missing."

To all my military friends, please excuse this post, it is not directed at the military at all... but at the silliness of the quote. Blame it on the reporter for making the ranking officer sound so silly.